Last week Manager of our Northern Regions Matt Garrett was on ABC Radio NSW Show FOCUS with Cassie McCulloch about Couples and Sharing Finances. Below is a summary of the points of the discussion and his tips for Couples when they are sharing/managing finances together.
Money and finances can be a highly emotional issues for couples to work through. It often touches deeply into the following concerns the couple may hold;
- Equity and fairness in the relationship
- Trust between the couple
- Power differentials
- Differences in family of origin in fact, much of our own view about money and managing finances can be traced back to how we were raised and the ideas our own families have held about finances. We may be wanting to emulate or be in direct opposition to how our families view money depending on our own experience.
Money can become an issue for the couple at anytime during the relationship. However it commonly emerges when the couple begin to share things such as accommodation and living expenses, holidays.
It may even be around who pays for dinner or the show, how much we each may spend on presents and gifts for the other…starting a family will often shine a spotlight on the financial habits of the couple that otherwise may go unnoticed.
Flags that money and finances may be the kernel of a growing problem:
1. Differing beliefs about money where a compromise is difficult to find
2. Who pays? Is chivalry dead? As traditional gender roles continue to blur who spends what on whom AND more importantly what might be expected as a consequence of spending money on the other can be fraught
3. If early on in a relationship you find yourself either wanting to pay or your new partner insists on always paying there may be an emerging problem. Money can substitute for negotiating verbally about expectations and preferences in how money is represented in your relationship.
4. If there is secrecy about money issues
Hints and tips
- Money needs to be a regular topic for conversation
- A balance between yours, mine and ours is a good way to think about it – managing this however can be complex so…Begin as you want to continue when it comes to money management in the relationship
For more on this interview with Matt click here