{"id":30488,"date":"2026-03-02T11:17:09","date_gmt":"2026-03-02T00:17:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.relationshipsnsw.org.au\/?p=30488"},"modified":"2026-03-03T09:26:02","modified_gmt":"2026-03-02T22:26:02","slug":"grief-and-loss-support","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.relationshipsnsw.org.au\/th\/blog\/grief-and-loss-support\/","title":{"rendered":"\u0e04\u0e27\u0e32\u0e21\u0e42\u0e28\u0e01\u0e40\u0e28\u0e23\u0e49\u0e32\u0e41\u0e25\u0e30\u0e01\u0e32\u0e23\u0e2a\u0e39\u0e0d\u0e40\u0e2a\u0e35\u0e22: \u0e40\u0e2b\u0e15\u0e38\u0e43\u0e14\u0e08\u0e36\u0e07\u0e40\u0e1b\u0e25\u0e35\u0e48\u0e22\u0e19\u0e41\u0e1b\u0e25\u0e07\u0e40\u0e23\u0e32 \u0e41\u0e25\u0e30\u0e40\u0e23\u0e32\u0e08\u0e30\u0e0a\u0e48\u0e27\u0e22\u0e40\u0e2b\u0e25\u0e37\u0e2d\u0e0b\u0e36\u0e48\u0e07\u0e01\u0e31\u0e19\u0e41\u0e25\u0e30\u0e01\u0e31\u0e19\u0e44\u0e14\u0e49\u0e2d\u0e22\u0e48\u0e32\u0e07\u0e44\u0e23\u0e43\u0e19\u0e0a\u0e48\u0e27\u0e07\u0e40\u0e27\u0e25\u0e32\u0e19\u0e35\u0e49"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Grief is something most of us will experience at some point in our lives. Yet when it arrives, it can feel disorientating, all-consuming and almost impossible to explain.<\/h6>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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While we often associate grief with death, loss can take many forms \u2013 the death of a partner, parent, sibling or child, the breakdown of a relationship, family estrangement, or even the gradual changes that come when a loved one is diagnosed with dementia or terminal illness.<\/p>\n

To better understand how grief shapes us \u2013 and how we can support one another through it \u2013 we spoke with Connie Easterbrook, a Senior Couple and Family Counsellor with Relationships Australia NSW and author of My Daughter, Myself<\/em><\/a>. Drawing on both her professional experience and her own experiences of loss, Connie offers insight into what grief looks like \u2013 and what can help.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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How grief really feels<\/h2>

\u201cThe first word that comes to mind is devastation,\u201d Connie says. \u201cAlthough, it is important to recognise that grief is shaped by the nature of the relationship you shared. If it\u2019s your life partner of many years, that\u2019s going to be enormous. If you lose a child, you don\u2019t \u2018get over it\u2019. You learn to live with it. It\u2019s life changing. There\u2019s a before and an after.\u201d<\/p>

The closeness, history and complexity of the relationship all influence how loss is experienced. A sudden, unexpected death may feel like the world has turned on its axis. A long illness may bring anticipatory grief \u2013 a slow, ongoing process of adjusting to what is coming.<\/p>

At the same time, grief doesn\u2019t always follow logic. Sometimes a loss that seems, on the surface, more distant \u2013 a work colleague or someone you\u2019ve only known for a short time \u2013 can hit far harder than you expect. It may stir up earlier losses, unresolved feelings, or parts of yourself you didn\u2019t realise were tender \u2013 grief can often surprise us.<\/p>

\u201cThere\u2019s no hierarchy in grief,\u201d Connie explains. \u201cGrief is grief. There\u2019s no \u2018my grief is worse than yours\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Grief isn\u2019t linear<\/h2>

Many of us are familiar with the idea of the \u201cfive stages of grief\u201d \u2013 denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance \u2013 first introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth K\u00fcbler-Ross<\/a>.<\/p>

While this framework has shaped how grief is understood in mainstream culture, it was never intended to be a rigid checklist or a sequence that everyone must move through in a particular order. K\u00fcbler-Ross herself later clarified that the stages were not meant to neatly organise grief into predictable steps, but to describe common responses people may have to loss. There is no single correct way to grieve, because there is no single kind of loss.<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s more cyclical than linear,\u201d Connie explains. \u201cYou can move in and out of shock, denial, anger or sadness. It doesn\u2019t follow a tidy path.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cOne of the biggest misconceptions is that grief has an endpoint,\u201d Connie says. \u201cBut it doesn\u2019t. Your life doesn\u2019t return to normal \u2013 it\u2019s a new normal.\u201d<\/p>

For some, the first year is the hardest, while others may find it\u2019s not until the third or fourth year that grief really sinks in. Anniversaries, birthdays and unexpected reminders<\/a> can bring waves of emotion long after others assume you\u2019ve moved on.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Grief doesn\u2019t always look how we expect<\/h2>

Another common misunderstanding is that grief must look a certain way \u2013 visible sadness, constant tears and emotional breakdown.<\/p>

\u201cThey might cry. But they might not,\u201d Connie says.<\/p>

Some people feel numb for a long time. That numbness can feel confusing or even guilt-inducing \u2013 you might wonder, \u201cwhy aren\u2019t I expressing my feelings more emotionally?\u201d, or \u201cwhy am I acting this way when I feel so broken and sad on the inside?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI know now that numbness is protective. Your psyche gives you space to process what\u2019s happened before you\u2019re ready to fully feel it.\u201d<\/p>

Well-meaning comments like \u201cyou\u2019re doing so well\u201d can unintentionally feel dismissive, especially when someone is struggling internally.<\/p>

\u201cJust because someone looks okay on the outside doesn\u2019t mean they\u2019re okay on the inside.\u201d<\/p>

People in relationships also grieve differently. It\u2019s common in relationships for one partner to want to talk and process verbally, while the other withdraws or channels their grief into action. These differences can create strain in relationships that are already vulnerable.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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You have to feel grief to move through it<\/h2>

\u201cPeople often don\u2019t want to feel it,\u201d Connie says. \u201cThey want to distract themselves by avoiding it, suppressing it, returning to work or going on holiday; do anything but feel it.\u201d The loss feels too overwhelming, more than they feel they have capacity to deal with.<\/p>

But delayed or suppressed grief can resurface later, sometimes in more complicated ways.<\/p>

\u201cThe way through is to feel it. This can be one of the hardest truths to accept.\u201d<\/p>

That doesn\u2019t mean being overwhelmed without support. It means allowing yourself to feel grief in safe ways \u2013 through conversation, counselling, ritual or reflection. In small chunks, bit by bit, piece by piece.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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When someone you love is grieving<\/h2>

Many people worry about saying the wrong thing, especially if they haven\u2019t experienced significant loss themselves.<\/p>

\u201cI think people don\u2019t realise how much it changes your world when it happens to you,\u201d Connie explains.<\/p>

One longstanding myth is that you shouldn\u2019t mention the person who has died.<\/p>

\u201cFor most people who are grieving, that\u2019s actually the worst thing you can do,\u201d Connie says. \u201cFriends and family often avoid bringing up the person who died because they don\u2019t want to upset the grieving person. But the person in grief is already thinking about them \u2013 you\u2019re not going to make it worse by saying their name.\u201d<\/p>

For many people who are grieving, it can feel hurtful when others don\u2019t acknowledge the death at all. Silence can feel like avoidance \u2013 or even as though the person who died didn\u2019t matter.<\/p>

That said, it\u2019s still important for the support person to check in first. Grief shifts from day to day, and the grieving person may not always feel ready to talk. You might say:<\/p>