{"id":25869,"date":"2025-04-09T12:15:13","date_gmt":"2025-04-09T02:15:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.relationshipsnsw.org.au\/?p=25869"},"modified":"2025-05-06T12:54:54","modified_gmt":"2025-05-06T02:54:54","slug":"mavis-story-forced-adoption","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.relationshipsnsw.org.au\/vi\/blog\/mavis-story-forced-adoption\/","title":{"rendered":"C\u00e2u chuy\u1ec7n c\u1ee7a Mavis: T\u00ecm l\u1ea1i gia \u0111\u00ecnh th\u1ea5t l\u1ea1c t\u1eeb l\u00e2u \u1edf tu\u1ed5i 80"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Mavis was 83 years old when she first learned the name of her biological father. Not only that, it was the first she heard that she had two half-siblings somewhere out in the world.<\/h6>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Born in 1937 to a young, single mother, Mavis and her twin brother, John, were put up for adoption a month after they were born. Her mum only agreed to sign the papers after she was assured that they were going to a wealthy family in Sydney\u2019s east.<\/p>

Only a few months later, the twins were returned to child welfare, neglected and malnourished, with Mavis later being diagnosed with pneumonia.<\/p>

At 20 months old, the two siblings were adopted together by a different family in Sydney, where they were well cared for and educated, but rarely heard the precious words, \u201cI love you\u201d.<\/p>

Growing up an outsider<\/h2>

Mavis recalls being told at 6 years old that she was adopted but had no idea what it meant.<\/p>

\u201cMy brother and I put our heads together in the backyard and we said, \u2018What does that mean? Is it like measles? Do we get spots?\u2019. We didn\u2019t know what it meant until [later on],\u201d she says.<\/p>

This word \u2013 adopted \u2013 haunted them throughout childhood, with their extended family, neighbours, and even people at school ostracising them. Mavis remembers, after getting into trouble in class, the principal saying, \u201cBut then where you came from, what else can I expect?\u201d.<\/p>

Her adoptive parents didn\u2019t speak of their heritage or share any information about their biological family, beyond being shown their birth certificates in their adolescence. These prized possessions, which are now carefully copied and stored in zip-locked bags, revealed several things about their family history.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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One of them was that Mavis was born a Marion. While her brother\u2019s name had remained unchanged, her adoptive parents had decided she must become a Mavis. She can\u2019t envisage being called anything else now, but it\u2019s saddening to imagine a little toddler suddenly having to respond to a new name.<\/p>

But what wasn\u2019t divulged in these documents was any information about her parents. Where her mother\u2019s details should have been, a razor blade had carefully cut it out. Her father\u2019s? Left blank, never filled in.<\/p>

These continuous denials of their heritage and true identities stayed with Mavis and her brother.<\/p>

\u201cI was a happy child but we always had something in the back of our minds that questioned, \u2018What was this?\u2019\u201d<\/p>

Finding their mother<\/h2>

John was determined to find their mother, following every lead he was given. At 21, he turned up on the doorstep of his maternal grandmother\u2019s house, who connected them to their mother, Hazel. She had since remarried and had an 11-year-old daughter, Lee. It took Mavis a few months to reach out to her mother \u2013 wanting her adoptive parents to know, and also so she could be certain it wasn\u2019t a one-off.<\/p>

\u201cI felt like she was a stranger, but we slowly got some sort of a connection,\u201d she recalls.<\/p>

\u201cFrom then on, it was 50 years. I went and visited her, I shopped for her, went to the library to get books for her. I did that once a fortnight and we always stayed in contact, until she passed away.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Mavis also speaks fondly of Lee, whom she remains in contact with to this day.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Over the years that she cared for her biological mother, Mavis would occasionally ask about her father. To this, she received a clear message: not up for discussion.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Then, in a tragic turn of events, John suddenly passed away at the age of 64, never knowing anything about his father.<\/span><\/p>

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At this point, it could have been easy for Mavis to give up hope. John was the one who had driven so much of the search and their mum had died not divulging any names. But, that\u2019s not the sort of people Mavis and her family are.<\/p>

With the tireless help of one of her daughters, Jennie, and son-in-law, Murray, Mavis kept looking.<\/p>

\u201cIt was our right to know who I was, where we came from. I wanted to pick up where my brother left off. I didn\u2019t want to upset any families, but it was my right to know.\u201d<\/p>

A sliding doors moment<\/h2>

Fast forward two decades and Mavis was living in a retirement village flipping through a local seniors\u2019 magazine. She noticed an article from a doctor based in Queensland, who was also adopted, and had looked for his family with the help of a local organisation, Jigsaw<\/a>.<\/p>

She remembers his words: \u201cFor those of you who are seeking to find your heritage, don\u2019t leave it too late because time is running out.\u201d Mavis called the doctor, who referred her to our Forced Adoptions Support Service<\/a> at Wattle Place<\/a>.<\/p>

\u201cWhen I saw that article, it was a lightbulb moment for me. I thought, \u2018Even though my brother isn\u2019t here, we will get the answers.\u2019\u201d<\/p>

She was connected with Erin, a caseworker at Wattle Place, and after that, \u201cthings moved very quickly\u201d. Mavis completed a DNA test, which revealed a number of matches on her father\u2019s side. With this information, the Wattle Place team started investigating the family tree and connecting with various matches to learn more.<\/p>

They also worked closely with Mavis\u2019 family who were doing their own detective work. After months of work, they found a gravesite, just five minutes away from Jennie\u2019s house, that they thought could have been Mavis\u2019 father. On the headstone, there were two children\u2019s names, which Erin started tracking down.<\/p>

The Wattle Place team applied for Mavis\u2019 adoption records with the NSW Adoption Information Unit, as well as hospital and medical information from when she was an infant. They then completed searches with Births, Deaths and Marriages for any relevant certificates relating to family members. Finally, electoral searches tried to locate particular people they wanted to contact.<\/p>

With that, they sent off tracing letters to two people, and eventually discovered those children\u2019s names were that of Mavis\u2019 half-siblings, Mary-Jane and Mark.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Through this, they also finally unearthed the name of their father \u2013 John. Just like her brother.<\/p>

\u201cThat was a gift to me. It was the most amazing thing that I could start to find my father. The only thing through all of this, I just wish my brother was here. I was so disappointed – he would have loved it.\u201d<\/p>

Sticking by each other<\/h2>

Now, Mavis is surrounded by her family on all sides \u2013 many strong women who crack jokes and wrap their arms around one other. Mary-Jane, her half-sister, is always close to her side and becomes teary remembering her first meeting with Mavis, which she says was a \u201ceuphoric moment\u201d.<\/p>

\u201cIt was the best day of my life… Better than my marriage. I knew I was going to marry my husband, but I never knew I was going to be presented with a sister,\u201d she says.<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019ve got dad next to me \u2013 Mavis has his personality and his looks. I know if my father could have been there for that moment, he would have been so happy. He would have really loved having Mavis and John as his son and daughter.\u201d<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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The whole family is acutely aware that this is a happy ending not everyone gets. Not everyone gets welcomed with wide open arms and unconditional love. But Mary-Jane says it was her father who raised them to see the positive in life.<\/p>

At 88 years old, Mavis says she feels closure.<\/p>

\u201cI am so blessed. I finally feel at peace now that I\u2019ve found the missing pieces to my story.<\/p>

\u201cI want people to know that I am someone and I do belong. I\u2019m someone who never gave up and always tried to remain positive, no matter what was sent my way. You deserve to know the whole story of your life, no matter what.\u201d<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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We provide counselling, casework, and family tracing to people affected by forced adoption practices through Wattle Place’s Forced Adoptions Support Service<\/a> – you can get in touch with us on 1300 364 277 to learn more.<\/h6>

Supported by the Australian Government Department of Social Services.<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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Related Services & Workshops<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Tailored Services.<\/span>Individuals.<\/span>Trauma.<\/span>Aboriginal + Torres Strait Islanders<\/p>\n \n

Wattle Place<\/a><\/h4>\n\n
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Wattle Place offers inclusive support for adults who experienced institutional or foster care as children, were impacted by forced adoption practices, or experienced institutional child sexual abuse. Our services provide assistance personalised to your individual needs and experiences.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n

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Tailored Services.<\/span>Individuals.<\/span>Trauma.<\/span>Aboriginal + Torres Strait Islanders<\/p>\n \n

Forced Adoptions Support Service<\/a><\/h4>\n\n
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A free support service for people impacted by past forced adoptions. Funded by the Australian Government Department of Social Services and delivered by Relationships Australia NSW\u2019s Wattle Place centre.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n

\n \n Explore <\/a>\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n <\/div>