Why Valentine's Day
should be every day

Every year on Valentine’s Day there is a lot of love in the air. It is a day where red roses, chocolates, love songs and heart-shaped gifts are all the rage.

Many of us enjoy the sentiment behind it as we tell that special someone in our lives what they mean to us on February 14. It can be a lot of fun deciding what card to buy, writing a heartfelt message and choosing a romantic place to have a candlelit dinner. It’s a time when few of us dislike the feeling that goes with being made to feel special!

Many couples tend to put in a lot of effort in to  Valentine’s Day during the first five years of a romantic relationship, a 2019 Relationships Australia survey found, while older couples tended to wane on their enthusiasm for it as time goes on. Our survey also found that 40 per cent of women and 23 per cent of men thought it was a good opportunity to have some light-hearted fun. Around 28 per cent of men felt it was the right time to show their partner they cared. The most popular activities on Valentine’s Day are eating out at a restaurant, having a romantic night in or going to the movies, according to our survey.

But when you think about it, Valentine’s Day is just one day of the year and if that is the only time we make an effort towards our partner (which may also be influenced by peer pressure), are we putting enough thought and care into our relationship or marriage?

Or are there ways we could show or tell our sweetheart what they mean to us every day?

We all know that life can get hectic as we work full-time, run a household, look after children, maintain friendships and get completely caught up in keeping everything ticking along. We can get stressed, unhappy, frustrated and distracted at times, however, it does not have to take a huge effort to remember to let our partner know they are important – and it does not have to involve large sums of money either.

It’s the little things that count, right? Perhaps you could set yourself a goal to do something nice for your partner for a week and see if it brings you even closer.

You could, for example, send them a sweet text message while they are at work, telling them you are thinking of them; write something cute on a post-it note; organise a “date” in bed where you talk to each other (no kids allowed) for half an hour; whisper “I love you” as you watch television; write a poem; or wash up together side by side and whisper sweet nothings in their ear…

Try to be creative and think of ways to show them you love them. This your chance to reinforce why you are with this person and why they are special to you – and, hopefully, the care, love and attention will be returned in kind.

Sure, there may be days when it all can seem like hard work or our partner annoys us for whatever reason. When we are feeling stressed, tired, upset or unhappy it can be so easy to fall into the habit of lashing out at the person we care about the most.

Yet we need to remember that our most intimate relationships ought to be based on mutual respect, understanding and love every day. We need to be mindful that finding new and interesting ways to keep the spark in our relationship is a part of expressing our love – not only for the other person but for ourselves, too.

So are there fun, good-value dates you could organise throughout the year to rival the best Valentine’s Day ever? Of course there are!

If you would like to have your own Valentine’s Day peppered throughout the year, here are some great, easily achievable date ideas that won’t break the bank or take a lot of pre-planning.

You could:

  • Go on a picnic in a secluded, picturesque spot;
  • Visit a museum or art gallery;
  • Go for a drive to a part of city or state you’ve always wanted to explore;
  • Make your own “high tea” for two;
  • Go for a bushwalk;
  • Visit a winery or brewery;
  • Watch the sunrise or sunset at your favourite beach;
  • Hire some bicycles and go for a cycle;
  • Sit on a bench, hold hands and “people-watch” for an hour.

Finding the time to do things you both enjoy as a couple is a great way to spend time together, break routines and reenergise your relationship.

However, if you feel that you have lost that spark in your marriage or relationship and no longer know how to connect with your partner, talking to one of our professional counsellors can help.

If you would like to speak to a counsellor about your relationship, please email enquiries@ransw.org.au or call 1300 364 277.

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