Author: Zoe Simmons
Financial abuse is an insidious form of domestic and family violence that can be hard to spot. It might feel like it’s not a big deal, like someone not contributing to bills or borrowing money, but it can be part of a more serious cycle that leaves victim-survivors without control over their finances and the resources to leave a relationship.
Financial abuse is a pattern of behaviours where one person is limited or unable to access, maintain or use their economic resources, including money. Just like other forms of violence, financial abuse can be used to scare, intimidate, hurt or control someone.
These actions are a common practice of coercive control, which is the ongoing control of another person’s behaviour and decisions (Duluth Domestic Abuse Invention Program). From 1 July 2024, coercive control in intimate partner relationships is a criminal offence in NSW and is punishable by law.
Financial abuse can look like someone:
- spending your money without permission or against your will
- taking your money, or controlling or limiting your access to money
- requesting you ask permission to use or spend your own money
- forcing you to take out a loan, credit card, or be a guarantor on a loan
- creating debts in your name
- forcing you to claim benefits, like Centrelink, for someone else
- taking money out your pension or superannuation
- forcing you to change your will
- destroying, damaging, stealing, or selling property
- stopping you from becoming financially independent, like getting a job or studying
- forcing you to file fraudulent insurance claims
- forging your signature on financial documents or forcing you to sign documents
- withholding financial support, like funds for health, medication, and child support payments
- refusing to work or contribute to household income
- excluding you from financial decisions
- hiding credit cards or bank statements
- making you feel guilty, isolated, or hurting you if you don’t give them money
- sending small transactions of money to your bank account with threatening messages.
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Who experiences financial abuse?
Financial abuse can be present in all types of relationships. For example, older people can experience financial abuse from their adult children – a common form of abuse in these relationships is pressure to give or loan money or property.
This type of abuse can also worsen existing issues for people and be unique to their circumstances or family relationships. The research indicates that:
- 1 in 6 women and 1 in 13 men experience financial abuse
- 1 in 3 disabled people experience financial abuse (37%)
- over 1 in 2 First Nations people experience financial abuse (59%)
- around 2% of people aged 65 and older have experienced financial abuse in the past 12 months.
How do I know if I’m experiencing financial abuse?
Firstly, it’s important to know it’s not your fault. Financial abuse can sometimes be difficult to recognise when it’s hidden by the roles and expectations in the relationship or family unit.
For example, there might be expectations and pressure for people to stay in certain roles in the family, like being the main income earner or the main home maker/caregiver. It’s important to pay attention to your sense of safety, freedom and autonomy in your relationship – please seek support if you notice these factors being impacted.
You might feel:
- scared to talk about money
- trapped and insecure in your relationship, especially financially
- like you can’t make decisions about your money or have to ask permission
- isolated from the world around you, like you have no one to talk to.
Financial abuse can limit a person’s freedom, independence and autonomy. For many people, the lack of financial security and independence can be a key driver in them choosing to stay in relationships that are abusive as they may feel they have nowhere to go.
What can I do if I’m experiencing financial abuse in my relationship?
If you are experiencing financial abuse and want to leave a relationship, it’s important to think about a safety plan. A safety plan helps you think about things you can do to be safer when leaving a violent or abusive relationship. It’s important to speak with trusted people about your plan and get support enacting it.
Some things you can put into place might include:
- checking who has access to your bank accounts
- logging out of your bank account on shared devices
- setting up your own private bank account and mail address
- checking your credit score
- changing your passwords, and adding two-factor authentication, with answers only you would know.
To learn more about safety planning, we have written a helpful article about getting started and what else you might need to think about.
For further support, you can also:
- Call 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or read their Financial Abuse Toolkit
- Read the Centre for Women’s Economic Safety’s Financial Checklist
- Older adults can call the NSW Ageing and Disability Abuse Helpline on 1800 628 221
- Call 13YARN (13 92 76) to talk to an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander Crisis Supporter
- Reach out to Relationships Australia NSW’s Community Builders program for support for multicultural communities – you can call them on 1300 364 277
- If you are immediate danger, call 000.
Getting counselling for financial abuse
Whether you’re currently experiencing financial abuse or you’re recovering from past circumstances, it can be hard to work through your trauma. It can impact people in many ways, even after leaving a relationship or the behaviour ending.
At Relationships Australia NSW, we offer individual counselling to anyone who is a victim-survivor of domestic and family violence, regardless of when you experienced it. With our trained counsellors, we can help you explore your feelings and challenges, and make plans for the future. Reach out today.
Zoe Simmons is a disabled journalist, copywriter, speaker, author and advocate. She writes to make the world a better place. You can find out more about Zoe on her website, or follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn or TikTok.
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