Tess’ Story: Taking Control of Her Anger Through Groupwork

By Relationships Australia

Author:
Emily Blunt
Tess had struggled with anger issues for her whole life when she reached out to Relationships Australia NSW for support.

Stemming from experiences of childhood trauma, she would have unpredictable outbursts and says the people around her constantly felt “on edge”.

Things that seemed small – like not being able to open a jar – would enrage her. She’d scream, curse, and feel violent towards whatever was upsetting her.

At 68 years old, Tess had tried different therapies and group programs before, with little success. However, realising the impact it was having on herself and her loved ones, she enrolled in our Managing Anger online group program.

Over eight weeks, participants explored the variety of factors that feed into anger, recognised high-risk triggers, learned how to shift their thinking to reduce the impact other people or events can have on their moods, improved their communication, and were supported to make changes in their relationships which their behaviour might have damaged in the past.

Now, months later, Tess says the group has “exponentially” changed her life.

“The whole group was an ‘aha moment’. It’s something magical that I couldn’t have done by myself,” she says.

“Being with other people, hearing yourself back, and being acknowledged – it’s all very powerful.”

The impact of the group

Tess credits the group’s facilitators, Erin and Michelle, with fostering an environment where she felt comfortable opening up.

“They made me feel very safe in the group the whole time. Being able to express how I was feeling seemed to be the antidote – I’ve never really done that in a group, and it was a powerful thing to do.”

A couple of weeks into the course, Tess recalls that she started struggling and wasn’t sure if she could keep going. She spoke openly with the facilitators who helped her through, reinforced that it was a safe and respectful environment, and reminded her that she only had to contribute when she was ready.

Despite having some ups and downs along the way, Tess encourages anyone in the same position to keep going.

“You are going to have your challenging moments. It’s a scary thing but the facilitators will help you through and my group was deeply empathetic and supportive of each other.”

How her relationships have changed

Since finishing the course, Tess says her friends and family have noticed a big difference in her.

“My mum is 94 and it’s awful to think that she used to walk around on eggshells around me and my friends were wary of me. My relationships have improved greatly because I have control over myself and I’m more relaxed,” she says.

“It’s been great for my self-esteem and getting this feedback from my mum and friends has made me feel better about myself. I’m better and more consistent – I’m a nicer person to be with.”

Michelle, one of the group’s facilitators, echoes the strides that Tess has made.

“Tess stood out as someone who was brave and motivated from the first session, but she also had clear reservations about how much value the program could offer her,” Michelle says.

“It was a pleasure to witness how quickly those doubts were dispelled. The program provided new ways of looking at things and everyone in the group worked to support each other to make meaningful shifts in their thinking and behaviour.”

For anyone who is sitting on the fence about attending the Managing Anger group, Tess couldn’t be a stronger advocate for it.

“I’d like to say to anybody considering it – I took the leap and it’s been much better than I thought it would. I was pretty much angry all the time and it would erupt, but I’ve become so positive.

“It’s touched a lot of aspects of my life and it’s worth it beyond words.”

If you would like to learn more about the Managing Anger group for yourself or a loved one, we’d encourage you to get in touch by calling 1300 364 277.

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