When we think about looking after our health, most of us know the basics. Eating well, staying active, getting enough sleep and seeing a doctor when something doesn’t feel right. We may, however, be less likely to think about the quality of our relationships.
When we think about looking after our health, most of us know the basics. Eating well, staying active, getting enough sleep and seeing a doctor when something doesn’t feel right. We may, however, be less likely to think about the quality of our relationships.
Yet the people around us can have a surprisingly significant influence on how we feel and function, particularly when life gets difficult. Decades of research suggest that our relationships are associated not only with how happy or supported we feel, but with our physical health, including how we respond to stress, our risk of some illnesses, how well we age and how long we live.
Health authorities are increasingly recognising just how important this is. In 2025, the World Health Organization (WHO) Commission on Social Connection called for social health to be treated with the same urgency as physical and mental health. Its report estimated that around one in six people worldwide experience loneliness, with consequences for individuals, communities and wider society.
It raises an interesting question: if we know that diet, exercise and sleep are important to our long-term health, should we be paying more attention to our relationships, too?
Good relationships are linked to a longer life
One of the clearest findings from decades of research is the association between social connection and how long we live.
In 2010, researchers brought together evidence from 148 studies involving more than 300,000 people, who were followed for an average of 7.5 years. Across those studies, people with stronger social relationships had a 50% greater likelihood of survival than those with weaker social relationships.
That doesn’t mean having close friends or a supportive partner will make someone live 50% longer. The researchers were looking at patterns across a very large group of people, rather than predicting any one person’s lifespan. Even so, the association was observed across different ages, sexes and health conditions.
We see a similar story in one of the world’s longest-running studies of adult life. The Harvard Study of Adult Development has followed people through the ups and downs of adult life, gathering information about their relationships, work, physical health and mental health along the way. Over time, researchers have repeatedly found that people with stronger, more satisfying relationships tend to be healthier as they age.
The study found that satisfaction with relationships at age 50 was a better predictor of participants’ later physical health than their cholesterol levels at the same age. That doesn’t make relationships a substitute for managing these health risks. It does suggest, though, that the quality of our relationships deserves a place alongside the other things we do to support our health as we age.
Loneliness and social isolation can affect our physical health
We often use loneliness and social isolation interchangeably, but there’s an important difference between the two. Social isolation generally describes an objective lack of social contact or relationships, while loneliness is the feeling that the connection we want isn’t matching the connection we have.
This is why someone can enjoy spending plenty of time alone without feeling lonely, while another person can have a busy social life and still feel deeply disconnected. What matters isn’t simply how many people are around us, but whether we feel meaningfully connected to them.
Both loneliness and social isolation have been associated with poorer physical health. A review of longitudinal studies found that poor social relationships, measured through loneliness or social isolation, were associated with a 29% higher risk of coronary heart disease and a 32% higher risk of stroke.
More recently, research led by the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health followed adults aged 50 and over and looked at how loneliness changed over time. Those who reported consistently high levels of loneliness had a 56% higher risk of stroke than people who consistently reported low levels of loneliness, even after researchers accounted for a range of other health and behavioural risk factors.
These findings don’t prove that loneliness directly causes cardiovascular disease. Health problems can make it harder to stay connected, just as loneliness and isolation may influence our health. But taken together, the research points to a close relationship between our social and physical wellbeing.
So, how can relationships affect the body?
It can seem like quite a leap from having someone to talk to after a difficult day to something as physical as heart health. Researchers are still working to understand exactly how these things are connected, but there are several ways our relationships may influence what happens in our bodies over time.
Stress is one way this might happen. When we’re going through illness, grief, financial pressure or problems at work, supportive relationships can give us somewhere to take those worries. The problems themselves may not disappear, but having someone who listens, offers practical help or simply reminds us that we don’t have to manage everything alone can make a meaningful difference to how we cope.
At the same time, chronic loneliness and social isolation have been linked with changes to the body’s stress responses, inflammation and immune functioning. Our relationships can shape our health in practical ways, too. A friend might encourage us to see a doctor about something we’ve been putting off, or a partner might notice that we haven’t quite seemed ourselves lately.
Relationship stress can also affect everyday things like sleep and energy. Most of us know how difficult it can be to switch off after an upsetting conversation or when we’re lying awake worrying about someone close to us.
We’re seeing this in our own work, too. In a nationally representative survey of 1,012 Australian adults conducted by YouGov for Relationships Australia NSW in June 2026, around one in four people said relationship stress or difficulty had affected their stress levels (26%), sleep (23%) or mood (23%) quite a bit or a great deal in the previous year. Around one in five (21%) said their energy levels had been affected.
The quality of our relationships matters
When we hear that connection is good for us, it’s tempting to assume that more of it must be better. In reality, the research tells a more nuanced story.
The WHO describes social connection in terms of its structure, function and quality. Put more simply, it matters who we’re connected to and how often we interact, but also whether those relationships meet our needs and whether our experiences within them are positive or negative.
A smaller number of dependable relationships can mean a great deal. Feeling able to be ourselves, knowing we can ask for help and trusting that someone will be there when life becomes difficult can matter more than having a long contact list.
Good relationships aren’t necessarily ones where everyone gets along all the time. Conflict is a normal part of being close to other people. But when criticism, uncertainty, conflict or a lack of support becomes an ongoing feature of a relationship, it can spill into other parts of our lives, affecting our sleep, stress and energy.
This is particularly relevant at a time when many Australian relationships are already under pressure. Relationships Australia’s Relationship Indicators 2024 found that relationship pressures were widespread, with cost-of-living pressures, mental health concerns and work demands among the issues affecting people’s relationships.
The health benefits of connection aren’t limited to romantic relationships, either. Friends, parents, children, siblings, neighbours, colleagues and other people in our communities can all offer different kinds of connection and support. No single person needs to meet all of our social and emotional needs.
Connection should never come at the expense of safety
The distinction between having relationships and having supportive relationships becomes particularly important when a relationship involves coercion, control, abuse or violence. Talking about the value of connection should never mean encouraging someone to stay connected to a person who is unsafe or causing them harm.
Healthy relationships allow room for respect, autonomy and honesty, even when people disagree. Sometimes a relationship going through difficulty can benefit from better communication, changes in behaviour or professional support. In other situations, looking after ourselves may mean setting boundaries, creating distance or safety, or leaving a relationship.
What if we treated our relationships as preventative health?
For most of us, looking after our physical health is something we actively work at, not something we think about only when something goes seriously wrong. We try to do small things along the way that will hopefully keep us well, whether that’s going for a walk, getting a health check or making an effort to get a bit more sleep.
There may be value in thinking about our relationships in a similar way. It could be making plans with a friend even when life feels busy, calling a family member we haven’t spoken to for a while, getting to know people in our community or talking about a recurring problem with a partner before months of frustration build up around it.
Sometimes, it can also mean asking for help. Our survey found that only 9% of Australians seek support when a relationship first starts to feel strained. Others are more likely to wait until there is regular conflict, their mental health is affected or the relationship is close to breaking down, while 29% say they don’t seek help.
Not every disagreement needs a counsellor, and relationships will naturally have their ups and downs. But counselling and relationship education don’t need to be reserved for relationships at breaking point, either. Getting some support with communication, recognising patterns we keep falling into or learning how to navigate a big life change can give us skills that are useful long after the immediate problem has passed.
Looking after our relationships is another way of looking after ourselves
None of this means we need a huge social circle or perfect relationships. Our relationships are only one part of our health, and connection isn’t a substitute for exercise, good nutrition, sleep or medical care.
But decades of research suggest our social and physical health are closely connected. Making room for meaningful relationships where we feel safe, valued and supported can be another way of caring for our health over time.
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