For generations, being in a relationship was often seen as the ultimate marker of success in adult life. Marriage and children were viewed as milestones to strive for, while being single was often seen as something temporary to be fixed.
Today, that picture is changing. More Australians are spending longer periods of their lives single, and many are discovering that being single isn’t something to endure while waiting for a relationship. Instead, it can be a fulfilling and meaningful way of life in its own right.
While there is no conclusive data on how many Australians are single, the Australian Bureau of Statistics reports that, in part due to an ageing population, by 2046 an estimated 3.4 to 4 million people will be living alone, a 30 to 50 per cent increase from 2021.
But while attitudes towards singlehood have evolved, societal expectations haven’t disappeared entirely. Questions about dating, relationships, and “settling down” can still create pressure, even for people who are genuinely happy with their circumstances.
So, what does it mean to choose a single life, and why are more people embracing it?
Being single isn’t one experience
When we talk about being single, it’s easy to assume everyone has the same experience. In reality, singlehood can mean very different things to different people.
Some people are deliberately taking time to heal and reflect after the end of a relationship, others are enjoying a period of independence and personal growth, some hope to meet a partner in the future, while others feel completely content without one.
Our CEO Elisabeth Shaw says many people don’t necessarily see themselves as permanently single.
“More often, people describe themselves as ‘single for now’, ‘happily single’, or open to meeting someone if it happens, but not actively pursuing it,” she says.
Why attitudes towards singlehood are changing
One of the biggest shifts over recent decades has been the growing acceptance that there are so many different ways to live a meaningful life.
Previous generations often faced strong social pressure to marry and settle down. Being single could attract judgement, concern or even pity.
Thankfully, society has become more accepting of different relationship choices and life paths. While being partnered is still often treated as the default, there is far more recognition that people can thrive in a variety of circumstances.
There’s also growing awareness that healthy relationships are only one part of a fulfilling life. Friendships, family connections, work, hobbies, community involvement, and personal interests all contribute to wellbeing. Many people are placing greater value on maintaining a balance across different parts of their lives, rather than expecting one romantic relationship to meet all their emotional needs.
As Elisabeth explains, people who are single often speak positively about being able to invest deeply in friendships, pursue career goals, travel, learn new skills, or simply enjoy having greater control over how they spend their time.
The benefits of being single
For people who feel comfortable with their choice, singlehood can bring a range of benefits.
One of the biggest perks single people talk about enjoying is the sense of freedom. Without needing to coordinate or cross-check every decision with a partner, people often enjoy greater flexibility over where they live, how they spend their money, and what they do with their free time.
Many people also appreciate having space to focus on their own interests and priorities.
Strong friendships often become central sources of support, connection, and joy. Research consistently shows that close, positive social relationships are important for our mental health and wellbeing, whether those relationships are romantic or not.
Being single can also create opportunities for personal growth. Some people discover new interests, build confidence through independent experiences, or develop a stronger sense of who they are outside of a romantic partnership.
Importantly, being single doesn’t mean being disconnected from others.
“Being single doesn’t mean you have no accountability to anyone,” Elisabeth says. “Children, friends, work and other commitments still involve fitting in with and being considerate of others.”
The challenges that can come with singlehood
While there can be many benefits, being single isn’t always easy.
Even as social attitudes shift, we still live in a society that often assumes romantic partnership is the goal. Single people may find themselves repeatedly asked about their dating life or face assumptions that they are unhappy, lonely or simply waiting for the right person to come along.
For some people, loneliness can be a challenge. Creating a rich and connected life often requires initiative. Building friendships, joining communities and maintaining social connections takes time and effort, particularly for people who are naturally shy or who have recently experienced a major life change.
Practical challenges can also arise. Living alone can be expensive; housing costs, travel expenses and everyday bills are often easier to manage when shared between two people. Single parents may face additional pressures as they balance work, caregiving and household responsibilities without a partner to share the load.
Some single people also find themselves carrying extra responsibilities within their families. There can be assumptions that they have more time available to care for ageing parents or step in to support relatives because they don’t have a partner or children.
When singlehood lasts longer than expected
Not everyone who is single intends to stay that way forever. For people who hope to find a partner, a longer period of singlehood can sometimes bring mixed emotions.
Confidence may be affected over time, particularly if dating feels challenging or if someone begins to worry they’ve left it “too late”. Others may become comfortable with their routines and independence, making the idea of dating feel more complicated than it once did.
Friends and family can also become accustomed to someone being single, which can make it surprisingly difficult to talk about wanting a relationship again.
At the same time, many people discover that a longer period of singlehood helps them develop a clearer understanding of what they want from future relationships. They may become more confident in their boundaries, values, and expectations.
How culture, gender and community shape the experience
The experience of being single can vary significantly depending on a person’s cultural background, gender, age, and community.
In some cultures, there can still be strong expectations around marriage and family life, particularly for women. Being single may attract greater scrutiny or pressure from family and community members.
Gender can also influence how people experience singlehood. Women often describe having strong friendship networks that provide emotional support and connection. Men, on the other hand, can sometimes experience greater loneliness if many of their social connections have traditionally been built through work or through a partner’s friendship networks.
LGBTIQ+ communities can offer valuable examples of diverse relationship experiences and life paths. Many people find supportive communities where there is less pressure to follow traditional relationship expectations.
Relationships come in many forms, and romantic partnerships are only one of the ways people experience closeness, support and belonging.
Responding to other people’s opinions
For some people, one of the hardest parts of being single isn’t being single at all; it’s managing other people’s reactions to it. Questions like, “When are you going to start dating again?” or “Don’t you want to settle down?” can feel intrusive, or bring up conversations you don’t necessarily want to have.
Elisabeth believes it’s important to develop your own understanding of your circumstances.
“It is important to really resolve in yourself why you are single, how happy you are, and what you want the story of it to be,” she says.
“You can’t control other people’s views and judgements, but when you are called to speak about it, make sure you represent yourself well.”
There’s no one right way to live
Whether you’re happily single, actively dating, healing after a relationship or somewhere in between, there is no single path that suits everyone.
A fulfilling life can include a romantic partner. It can also include strong friendships, meaningful work, family connections, community involvement, and personal growth.
The question isn’t whether being single is better than being partnered, or vice versa. The more useful question may be whether your life feels aligned with your values, your needs, and the kind of future you want to build. Because ultimately, healthy relationships matter. But so does having a healthy relationship with yourself.
Need support navigating relationships? Our individual counselling services provide a supportive space to explore what’s important to you, strengthen your confidence in your decisions, and build healthier relationships – with others and yourself.
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