6 Ways to Deal With Social Awkwardness

1. Nail the problem

Do an inventory of where you feel comfortable and where you get stuck. Work with your strengths and then add on bit by bit. Don’t try everything at once. For example, you may feel OK hanging out with your close friend, but out of your depth at a big party.

2. Start small

It may be better to get used to being one on one and build skills with smaller numbers. You may come to realise it’s more about big groups than social inadequacy all the time.

3. It’s about them, not you

Everyone loves a good listener. While you might be worried about carrying a conversation, asking just a few questions and then following the other’s lead, gives you room to breathe and makes you good company.

4. Take it easy

Plan social occasions that are doable for you. Suggest a movie over a dinner party for example, so you are out and yet not compelled to be the life of the party. You also have conversation ready to go afterwards.

5. One skill at a time

In a social situation, just decide to try one new thing. It might be to maintain eye contact, or stay 10 minutes more than usual, or be brave enough to suggest coffee with one new person.

6. Listen to feedback

Usually, others around you don’t see you as awkward as you feel on the inside. If others reassure you, take that in, don’t dismiss it. Feeling self-conscious can be very convincing but is not always the truth about how you come across. Not many people feel comfortable and socially successful all the time.

It’s good to remember that social awkwardness is relatively common, so you don’t need to suffer alone.